one shift has him lifting up, enough to look at her; he doesn't say it, because he couldn't possibly even begin to form words right now, but in this moment, flushed underneath him, wearing his shirt, allowing him to see this specific kind of vulnerability, she's never been more beautiful to him. he only allows himself seconds to take this sight in, just the amount of time he needs to commit it to memory and no more, before changing the angle as he returns to her, one hand on her hip to assist with positioning as he slowly sinks inside of her.
the feeling overwhelms, drawing a tight, strained gasp out of him. his other hand, shaking, reaches for her face, gently resting his fingers over her cheek as he brings his mouth to hers again. he doesn't intend to stay like this, of course, because he'll move at her first instruction, but he can give her some time to adjust — and himself a few more seconds to linger.]
[ she catches his eye as he positions himself and feels acutely aware of how he’s taking her in, eyes wide as if he’s in awe of her, mouth slack and skin flushed. if she were in her normal state of mind, she’d be more frightened of that; feel the need to turn from it out of fear of acknowledging what it means for them both. as it is she looks back, hand cradling the side of his face, not looking away until he presses himself inside her.
and then it’s too much sensation, leaving her shivering and hot against him. arms winding around him to hold him close. her breath gets high and light, a sharp gasp as he fills her fading into soft pants as they both adjust to it.
for a moment all she can do is kiss lightly back when he finds her mouth with his again. once she adjusts, she signals it by kissing back with more intensity, one leg hooking over his hips as she adjusts beneath him, prepared to cradle his movements. ]
[there's a familiarity to this, a foundation laid down over the past several months, yet at the same time, in some ways, it also feels new. she defines, and redefines, for him what it means to be close, over and over again; she shivers and so does he, their breaths match, and her warmth is his warmth, seeping under his skin and spreading all the way through him. it's everything he's spent years trying to reach for pieces of, and everything he's tried to push away. and here —
he lets her wrap her arms around him and keep him in this with her, more comfortable than afraid. if he could form a thought even coherent enough to just acknowledge the feeling, he wouldn't know what to do with it.
but that isn't on his mind now. it's at least a light year away as his mouth curves into a smile against hers, as even that is absorbed by the intensity of the kiss she gives him in return. he takes that as his cue, the grip of his fingers tightening over her hip as he starts to roll against her, setting a slow and steady rhythm to start.]
[ she isn't sure what she'd do with a name to the feelings he stirs up inside her, ones she didn't think she was capable of anymore. ones she's tried not to have here at all, because she's not sure if she's even still alive at home, or if a home even exists anymore. she'd grown so tired of feeling hurt she'd figured it was better not try not feeling anything.
but she's not thinking of that now, or much of anything besides him and what they're doing and how she's feeling; the tender way he's touching her, tuned into her body and its responses to what he's doing, what she needs and wants from this. this isn't anything they haven't done before, but it's something comforting to be doing it with this context, with him making sure she's doing okay.
he starts to move, slowly, as he picks up on the cues she's giving, hand pinning her hip in place as his hips roll forward and press into her. she sighs against his mouth in between breaks for air, one hand raking through his hair as the other roams over his skin, still holding him close. ]
[this, like so many things, has a limit. mostly, there's a physical one; he's stretching that limit now, fighting against the tension in his own body, the steadily building desperation for release, to keep the pace slow and to stay in this for as long as possible.
it becomes harder to do that when her fingers move through his hair, sending a jolt that sparks the desperation anew; he meets her sigh with a gasp of his own, and there's a moment, still holding onto her, that his motion becomes clumsy, and he sinks into her even deeper before pulling back just a little.
thumb grazing over her cheek to draw her attention, he searches for her eyes with his, silently checking in, looking for his next cue.]
[ his movements gradually transition from deliberate and slow to messy and erratic, and she can feel the desperation for release in his movements, mirroring what she’s currently coping with. he sinks deeper inside her and she cries out, her leg hooking tighter around him and drawing him as close as she can get, unable to get enough.
but he pauses, pulling back and drawing her attention to him with a gentle graze at her cheek, a lock of her hair falling back with the touch. she meets his eyes and responds wordlessly, her breath coming in pants and a sharp gasp as she rocks her hips up, then does it again, indicating he can increase the pace. ]
Don’t - [ her breath and voice are stuttered, her body protesting the sudden stop in movement, and a sigh falls from her lips as her hips jerk up again ] - don’t hold back.
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no subject
one shift has him lifting up, enough to look at her; he doesn't say it, because he couldn't possibly even begin to form words right now, but in this moment, flushed underneath him, wearing his shirt, allowing him to see this specific kind of vulnerability, she's never been more beautiful to him. he only allows himself seconds to take this sight in, just the amount of time he needs to commit it to memory and no more, before changing the angle as he returns to her, one hand on her hip to assist with positioning as he slowly sinks inside of her.
the feeling overwhelms, drawing a tight, strained gasp out of him. his other hand, shaking, reaches for her face, gently resting his fingers over her cheek as he brings his mouth to hers again. he doesn't intend to stay like this, of course, because he'll move at her first instruction, but he can give her some time to adjust — and himself a few more seconds to linger.]
no subject
and then it’s too much sensation, leaving her shivering and hot against him. arms winding around him to hold him close. her breath gets high and light, a sharp gasp as he fills her fading into soft pants as they both adjust to it.
for a moment all she can do is kiss lightly back when he finds her mouth with his again. once she adjusts, she signals it by kissing back with more intensity, one leg hooking over his hips as she adjusts beneath him, prepared to cradle his movements. ]
no subject
he lets her wrap her arms around him and keep him in this with her, more comfortable than afraid. if he could form a thought even coherent enough to just acknowledge the feeling, he wouldn't know what to do with it.
but that isn't on his mind now. it's at least a light year away as his mouth curves into a smile against hers, as even that is absorbed by the intensity of the kiss she gives him in return. he takes that as his cue, the grip of his fingers tightening over her hip as he starts to roll against her, setting a slow and steady rhythm to start.]
no subject
but she's not thinking of that now, or much of anything besides him and what they're doing and how she's feeling; the tender way he's touching her, tuned into her body and its responses to what he's doing, what she needs and wants from this. this isn't anything they haven't done before, but it's something comforting to be doing it with this context, with him making sure she's doing okay.
he starts to move, slowly, as he picks up on the cues she's giving, hand pinning her hip in place as his hips roll forward and press into her. she sighs against his mouth in between breaks for air, one hand raking through his hair as the other roams over his skin, still holding him close. ]
no subject
it becomes harder to do that when her fingers move through his hair, sending a jolt that sparks the desperation anew; he meets her sigh with a gasp of his own, and there's a moment, still holding onto her, that his motion becomes clumsy, and he sinks into her even deeper before pulling back just a little.
thumb grazing over her cheek to draw her attention, he searches for her eyes with his, silently checking in, looking for his next cue.]
no subject
but he pauses, pulling back and drawing her attention to him with a gentle graze at her cheek, a lock of her hair falling back with the touch. she meets his eyes and responds wordlessly, her breath coming in pants and a sharp gasp as she rocks her hips up, then does it again, indicating he can increase the pace. ]
Don’t - [ her breath and voice are stuttered, her body protesting the sudden stop in movement, and a sigh falls from her lips as her hips jerk up again ] - don’t hold back.